I haven't been blogging here much lately, partly because Jeff and I are busy with our startup. However, it's also because I started a new blog: AwkwardRules.net, the purpose of which is to figure out the rules for dealing with awkward situations. I'll probably cross post a few rules here, but you can also subscribe to the RSS feed.

And here is the latest post:

The situation:

You’re meeting a close friend of the opposite sex* at a bar, and when you get there you see that they’ve brought their friend (also of the opposite sex) that you’ve met once or twice. You give your close friend a hug, but then what about the other person? Do they feel left out if you don’t give them a hug? You can’t really go with a handshake because you’ve met them already, but you don’t know them that well so does it really make sense to hug them?

I propose Awkward Rule #2 to prevent this dilemma:

When greeting or saying goodbye to a person of the opposite sex* who is not a close friend, it is required to give them a hug if you have no animosity toward them and:

1. You have met them at least 3 times.
2. You have spent more that 3 total hours in their presence. Being at the same event does not count, you must have been within conversation range for 3 hours.

If the person is not huggable under this rule, simply give them a small “hey” wave. See figure 2 below for further explanation.

Figure 2a.

Here’s a simple phrase to help you remember this rule: Less than 3, let them be. 3 or more, hug their core.

Rule #2 only applies in the USA and to acquaintances/friends of the opposite sex. It does not apply to cases like first dates or intra-girl hugging because the extensive research required to write a rule for these situations hasn’t been completed yet.

For a discussion of actual hug mechanics go here: http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/73/

* for the purposes of this rule, opposite sex is defined as the gender you like to have sex with, be it male, female, both, or miscellaneous

Me and Jeff have been looking for awesome summer interns for Fluxcapacity here in NYC. We've been getting some resumes from people, but one from Tim Duncan caught my eye. I was really excited until I found out it was sent in by Adam! Here it is:

<resume>
OBJECTIVE
To find a position where I have the ability develop my fundamentals, and build on top of my previous ten years experience using those fundamentals. Also, to bring said fundamentals to an industry and company sorely lacking in that area.

EDUCATION

• Wake Forest University Winston-Salem, North Carolina Psychology Major 1993 – 1997
• St. Dunstan’s Episcopal High School St. Croix, United States Virgin Islands 1998 to 2002
  

EXPERIENCE
San Antonio Spurs, San Antonio, Texas
Power forward/Center, September 1997 to Present

• Took the game to an all new level of excitement with my post, dribble, shoot style of basketball.- Angered a stadium full of fans by just looking straight ahead.
• NBA Rookie of the year.
• Three-Time NBA Finals Most Valuable Player Award Winner.
• Two-time NBA Most Valuable Player Award Winner.
  

FOAO (Fundamentals of America Org), San Antonio, Texas
Founder, September 2004 to July 2006

• Demonstrated to youth all over America the benefits of fundamental basketball.
• Ran meetings with the president of the United States about fundamentals on the battlefield.
• Demonstrated the art of killing ones enemies through boredom by playing fundamental basketball, a technique being used in Afghanistan and Iraq today in operation “Un-Shock and Un-Awe”.
  

Face Modeling for the Expressionless Inc. San Antonio, Texas
Founder, CEO, and President, December 1997 to September 2004

• Held the world record for longest held expressionless face.
• Inspired 500 expressionless people around the world to pose for the “1999 Collage of the Expressionless”.
• Helped found the “Expressionless Hall of Fame”.
• Identified possible inductees into the “Expressionless Hall of Fame”.
• Made the front cover of “Expressionless Magazine” four years in a row.
• Became the first modeling agency to sign Greg Oden, an up and coming in the expressionless world, when he was only 9 years old.
  

Dumb Face for Smart People LLC. San Antonio, Texas
President, May 1999-September 2002

• Helped reduce the oppression against those with “Dumb Faces” around the world.
• Helped push a bill through congress to take down segregation of people with smart faces and dumb faces in the west.
• Set up the Dumb Face Smart Person Awareness program.

</resume>

I was waiting for a table at Decibel with a friend in East Village last Saturday when in walked a guy that looked just like Tobias from Arrested Development (played by David Cross). He has a pretty distinctive look:



but I wasn't exactly sure it was him. Then I saw that he was with a really beautiful brunette and figured it either had to be David Cross or a rich guy that looked like him. They ended up sitting right next to us and were really into each other so I didn't want to bother him.  I waited until he was about to leave and then told him that Tobias was my favorite character on Arrested Development and that the show should have never gotten canceled.

The funny thing is, had this been most celebrities I probably wouldn't have cared. Although I am still hoping to run into Larry David one day, or even be involved in some sort of humorous situation with him.