A couple of weeks ago I was at Happy Endings bar with one of my really good friends from college Sean and some of his friends.
Side note: Me and Sean met at South Quad where we started an underground poker ring that grew to ridiculous proportions. People would come up to me and Sean in the street asking about our poker game, random older non-students would show up to the games, and at one game we had over $1500 in the pot. Luckily we got out of the game right before it got busted by all the RAs.
So anyways while Sean was talking/dancing with some girl I was talking to his friend Jen. She was telling me how a lot of times guys will purposely brush against girls in the bar. I disagreed and we decided to set up a little social experiment. She stood with her back facing the “walking lane” and I was watching to see if any guys actually did what she claimed. At least 5 guys walked by with nothing happening. Then she said that it was because I was watching. So I sort of turned a bit and pretended not to be looking, but was still talking to her.
Then, this guy walked past her while we were talking about something else, and I heard her say, “that was really bad!” I thought she was referring to the guy grabbing her ass. Being a lover not a fighter, I decided that the only logical course of action was to grab his ass as a sort of punishment. Obviously if she did it back to him, it would be good for him, not a punishment, so I figured I’d take one for the team. Keep in mind that my judgment was somewhat impaired by alcohol. So I grabbed his ass and he turned around and looked at Jen with an interested look. That was when I said, “no buddy, that was me!” His look of shock was pretty hilarious. That’s when Jen pulled me away and said, “it wasn’t him!”.
A wave of shock, sadness and regret washed over me. It was definitely a “what have I done!” moment. I looked around for the guy so I could apologize and explain, but he was gone.
So now I’ve got bad karma for a while. If you’re somehow reading this guy whose ass I mistakenly grabbed, I’m sorry! Let this be a lesson to everyone else – avoid vigilante justice!
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