March 12, 2008
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Where are you from?
Like most people I get asked this question often, but sometimes my answer is a bit complicated. Some people when they ask me this question are wondering what my ethnicity is. This happens a lot after I tell them my name or they read it off a list. In my experience these people are usually in an older generation than me.
I usually answer with something like, “I was born in Michigan and my parents are from India.” I can’t really answer their question with “India” because I’m not from there, and if I say “America” it’s a bit strange as well and not really answering the intent of their question. If I say, “I’m an Indian American from Michigan” they’ll probably be confused and think I’m Native America (damn you Columbus, you thought you found India you lazy bastard!). So I’m stuck with the awkward answer in between.
However, I’ve noticed that nobody in my generation or younger really asks me that question with the intent of finding out my ethnicity. They’re really asking which part of America I’m from, to which I can easily say Michigan. I wonder if this is because they’ve seen enough Indian people to realize my ethnicity or if they just don’t care.
Does this happen to any of you second/third generation in-betweeners?
Also, I can say without hyperbole that Columbus is history’s greatest monster – not for killing thousands of Native Americans but for thinking he found India.
Comments (25)
I get that too… I first and foremost say that I’m American though. I’m pretty much a mutt though (Mexican-German-Russian)… And it’s true, nobody from my generation or younger ask. I think it’s because we are open to new ideas, new customs, and such. Of course, even I wonder about a person’s ethnicity, but I would rather it come out in a conversation rather then me having to ask.
lol, haha… the Columbus mix up… That sucks, but then again it shows how dumb America is as a country for not knowing where India is on the map! lol.
America is so narcissistic as a country. We (as a nation) cannot point out other countries or recognize who their leaders are, but almost every other country can pin-point us and tell us that Gorge Bush is our president. How sad.
haha i get tht all the time to…but i do get it frm ppl frm my own generation.
anywhos this is an intersting topic tho for me.. hmmm maybe id make a post out of it sometime soon
=)
where are you frm again =P
I think people ask me the same question because they cannot figure out where I am from. The conversation usually happens like this:
- Other person: Where are you from?
- Me: I am from Turkey
- Other person: Interesting/Cool.
There is a different version if they know about Istanbul.
- Other person: Where are you from?
- Me: I am from Turkey
- Other person: Some place close to Istanbul?
- Me: No, it is a small city called Rize in the north east region. You would not probably know about it.
my dad gets this question sll the time– he’s pale-skinned with blue eyes but from Chile, speaks english flawlessly but with a mix of a brit and spanish accent. He likes to just make people guess when they ask him this. They usually think he’s from Germany.
Thanks for the well wishes! I don’t have the same problem, I just say India. Although follow up questions normally include, “How can you speak English so well?” or “Why aren’t you wearing the dot?” :-/
I’ve been fascinated by this question for some time. I view it as an opportunity to share with people of different backgrounds, and I’m happy to answer it to whatever detail. However, I’ve met many people who find the question offensive, and get angry at it! So its interesting that you’re seeing the question change its intent and reaction over the years; I think its a sign of progress.
Nowhere does that question break down more than in New York city. Growing up in the suburbs, everyone expected a straight answer, like “India”. But New York City is a much more complicated melting pot. I’ve met Indians from Africa and Asians from South America. My aunt knew a Chinese guy who grew up in Bangladesh because his father was stationed there for the Chinese army. He spoke fluent Bengali, better than he spoke Chinese. How does he answer that question?
It would make a fascinating documentary to walk around the city and ask random people “Where are you from?”, both to see their reaction, and hear their answer. It could also delve deeper into the more interesting backgrounds.
We were at the MOMA’s Design and the Elastic Mind exhibit this weekend. One of my favorite pieces was also the most low-tech: it was these buttons with a picture of a woman in a burka, with the text “Ask me why?” There were many of these buttons, each which pictures of different ethnic and cultural items, all with the question “Ask me why?”. The intent was for a person of that ethnicity to wear the button and encourage cross-cultural dialog, rather than be angry or offended by it.
I suspect that Columbus is a classic example of a person who was afraid to tell their boss the truth. He must have known but just couldn’t face the consequences of the failure of not achieving his goal. He lacked the imagination that would have told him, he may have found something different but just as important. No courage. No imagination. Dilbert.
@monsur - that would be an awesome documentary. i’ve also found that some people get angry/offended by the question (in fact a few people have on my behalf, even though i don’t!). i think it’s natural to be curious and my guess is that as more people become familiar with people of south asian descent the question will shift toward where are you from in the US (unless you have an accent). one example of this is a white second generation immigrant from another country without an accent will rarely get asked about ethnicity unless they have a name that is unusual here. i think this will happen across the globe as there’s increased freedom of movement between countries.
@iamthebella - i think the reason we seem narcissistic is because we’re the sole superpower right now. during the cold war i would guess that most people could probably name the leader of the soviet union. if china and india continue to gain power, then perhaps average joe schmo will know more about them.
@vikas - “white second generation immigrant from another country without an
accent will rarely get asked about ethnicity unless they have a name
that is unusual here.”
Something like Dagitses perhaps?
@monsur - well with a name like that someone might say instead, “oh i’m so sorry, my uncle had the same disease. they’ll find a cure someday!”
@monsur - I was at the museum this weekend too. I want to the colors exhibition.
@ayca - is there ever anyone who says, “I know Rize!” ?
I’ve been in New York for a long time but I have a strong midwestern accent (I was raised around Detroit) which means California will be interesting; given the way I say certain things, I accidentally mangle Spanish without realizing it. Much like a Texan trying to speak French it…it just doesn’t work.
@Drakonskyr - I was born in Detroit and raised in the suburbs around there as well. You’re moving to San Francisco right? I was there a few years ago for a summer, it’s a pretty fun city but bring or buy a blanket because it gets cold (sometimes in the 40s!) at night. Also I was surprised that there weren’t more people speaking Spanish there, I pictured California as this place where everybody spoke Spanish, ort of like a richer Mexico.
Well, where I am in New York now it was twenty degrees when I woke up, so I think I can handle forty.
I didn’t see many spanish speakers there last time I visited myself, but the girlfriend’s Hispanic, so she just mocks me. MOCKS ME ENDLESSLY.
@Drakonskyr - oh, i meant for the summer. i was there for the summer and only brought t-shirts thinking it was going to be all sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and hippies (the hippies part was correct). i ended up freezing at night for the first two days. if you’re there by may 18th, check out bay to breakers if you want to see drunk/naked people running.
On campus it was even more confusing because sometimes people meant what dorm I lived in.
@vikas - You visited the wrong part of California. lol. haha… You have to go to Southern California or the Central California.
I guess mine is a little more convoluted than yours:
I’m born and raised in NYC, parents from Guyana, Great Grandparents from India. That would make me south-american and west indian in NYC.
Eh, I just tell people I’m from NYC and let them deal with it how they may.
The question is almost as old as this country. I’m from an older generation, and in times past just about everybody you met asked your nationality (even if it was obvious you were of European ancestry.)
Folks used to enjoy discussing their ancestry, and the question many times got a long, lively answer like “Well, my maternal grandad was Irish who married a Seminole. My Paternal great-grandmother was Spanish, from the Isle of Minorca…”
Folks used to have lively discussions about ancestry, but the present generation (who can’t even locate states on the map) seem bored by such talk these days. And incidentally, I’m from a generation that was taught geography and current events as early as the third grade. No trouble with naming countries or leaders.
I’ve gotta agree that Columbus was responsible for the killing of thousands, and I think the saddest of all were the Taino, a friendly people who showed warm hospitality to the Spanish, only to be enslaved, raped, and murdered because they couldn’t produce gold.
As for calling aboriginal Americans “Indians,” I stopped that long ago. To me, they’re what they call themselves: Apache, Cherokee, etc. (Notice I didn’t say “native” Americans, for aren’t all of us who were born here native Americans?)
Great post; enjoyed it.
@dsullivan - That’s interesting that a while ago people asked that pretty much everyone asked that question.
I would say that while perhaps a large percentage or most of the present generation is geographically challenged, there are many who are not (I like to think that I am not at least).
You make another interesting point that everyone born in the United States is pretty much a “Native American.” So perhaps referring to them as aboriginal Americans like you did or indigenous Americans makes more sense.
i’m still in joisey until i can save up enough to get a teeny tiny studio in manhattan, but i babysit on the upper east side and was taking a cab down to the 33rd street path train to get home.
SOMEDAY!
Ooh, good bloggy.
n’ thanks for recommending me!
There is nothing wrong with being Indian and being from Michigan! Isn’t it ironic, that Michigan is one of the most ethnic States in The USA? (P.S. I know we also, have alot of rednecks) I am proud of that fact and most importantly, have learned more about ‘ethnic diversity’ from living in Michigan and feel blessed to have gone to Michigan State University, who at the time had the most International Students in the entire country……..Darn it! I met some many wonderful human beings and realized that we are all one….Be Proud from being from this great state….(despite) LOL! Peace and Love, always