October 25, 2006

• The tale of Scruffy

  It was a glorious sunny day in the city by the bay, beautiful San Francisco. I was biking home as I usually did from the Caltrain stop near the city center to the west side of the city, inner sunset. I got home, parked my bike in the living room and went into the kitchen to make some dinner. Russel was in there examining a package on the kitchen table. It looked it had been chewed threw. Also, there were random little droppings on the floor. Rat droppings. We told our other housemate Adrian, and he went and bought some glue traps that we put around the kitchen, hoping to trap the intruder.

  The next morning, I awoke to the terrified screams of Lisa, our 4th housemate. We all ventured into the living room to find her up on the couch, frantically scanning the floor for any signs of our uninvited houseguest. We finally spotted him in the corner. He was huge and looked like he could give a small dog or cat major problems in a fight.

  A few days of waiting yielded nothing in our traps. Scruffy (I decided to name him) managed to get all the food we had set out to trap him. We even tried putting a glob of peanut butter and cheese surrounded by 2 layers of glue traps, but he somehow got around these as well, either by cunning or brute force.

  After a while, we stopped bothering with the glue traps, and Scruffy became part of house. He was like our fifth housemate. He usually came out of hiding while me and Russel watched the Daily Show and hung our around the living room or kitchen. He would take his fair share of whatever food we accidentally left within his ratty reach, but he would not venture into our bedrooms or the bathroom. That was our understanding. Scruffy, however, was not satisfied with the arrangement.

  One night as I lay asleep in my bed, I heard the pitter patter of small footsteps on my mattress. I opened my eyes to find Scruffy RIGHT NEXT TO MY (EXPLETIVE DELETED) FACE! ON MY (EXPLETIVE DELETED) BED WHERE I SLEPT EVERY NIGHT!! I let out a cry of surprise, anguish, rage, and betrayal and lept upward as Scruffy scurried out of my room to the living room. I was in hot pursuit with my trusty tennis raquet.

  I reached the dark quiet living room and listened for any signs of the treacherous rat, but I heard nothing. Then by chance, I spotted the bastard’s tail sticking out from under the couch. I brought the raquet down hard, and I heard a squeak and then he ran out toward the front door and vanished into the darkness. He was never seen in our house again.

  Why Scruffy? Why did you feel the need to betray your friends? We were the hands that fed you and you threw it all away. And for what, so you could have your fun and see me scream like a little girl for a few seconds!? I though you were better than that Scruffy.

  -Vikas

  • 5:00 pm
  • 2 Comments